Young Families Havurah

Adult Education Opportunity: Rabbi Nicole will teach "The Sensual Side of Being Jewish"

2012-02-26T09:33:00.002-08:00

The Sensual Side ofBeing Jewish

Midrasha Mondays,March 5, 12,

and 19 at 7:00 p.m.

What does Judaism have to say about

sensuality? A lot more than you might

think. Jewish authorities throughout

history have approached sensuality

and beauty with a wide range of

responses, from enthusiasm to disdain

and suspicion. We will follow the

evolution of Judaism and sensuality

from biblical to contemporary times,looking at

traditional sources and also examiningthe socio-historic contexts that influenced Jewishwriters. In the last class, we will discuss if and how the Jewishtradition can act as a spiritual guide for us in therealm of sensuality.

Some traditional texts are rated“PG-13”—adults only

please. With Rabbi Nicole Wilson-Spiro.

Three Great Purim Events for Families!

2012-02-24T04:27:00.003-08:00

We have three wonderful events for young families to celebrate Purim!

Masks Around the World
Saturday March 3rd. Come for Havurah services (9:45 a.m.), and stay for a Purim program (10:30 a.m.) exploring masks around the world and a chance to make your own beautiful mask, and potluck lunch (11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.). Please RSVP and give $5 per child to the Main Office by March 2nd and bring a dish to share.

Purim Carnival
Sunday March 4th 12:00-2:00 p.m. Games, prizes, pizza lunch
Don't forget your (kids') costumes.

Purim Celebration and Megillah Reading
Wednesday March 7th 5:00 p.m. Authentic Persian Dinner (the Purim story takes place in Persia), plus mac n’ cheese for picky eaters, and grogger making.
$5 per person due to the Main Office by March 5th.
6:00 p.m. Service and Megillah Reading.
Don't forget your (kids') costumes.

Tu Bishvat at Earthplace

2012-02-20T09:16:00.000-08:00

The Havurah celebrated Tu Bishvat, the Jewish birthday of the trees, at Earthplace Nature Center in Westport, CT.
We enjoyed a beautiful, snowy trail walk with Becky Newman, an Environmental Educator. She showed us the differences between different trees, and we got to make crayon rubbings of their barks.
We planted parsley that will be ready in time for Passover. We sang songs about trees, read a book about trees, eat fruits from different trees and even participated in "tree theater" to help us learn about photosynthesis.
For more Pictures - visit our Facebook page.

For the Sake of the Community

2012-01-26T08:04:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about and appreciating the valueof community lately. After our sonNoam was born, families from the Havurah community cooked dinner for us, celebratedwith us both at Noam’s bris and the first time we returned to synagogue, boughtpresents for us, led services for me, and generally supported our family as wetransitioned from two children to three. I know that other babies have also been welcomed into our community withmeals and celebration. I feel sograteful to be part of such a nurturing community!

Judaism has long encouraged such communal support. Before the Enlightenment, Jews inmedieval Europe had little choice but to be immersed in Jewishcommunities. They paid taxes tothe Jewish community, were protected by the community, and fearedexcommunication as a grievous punishment. Those Jewish communities were unusually altruistic, boasting societieswho fed the poor, took care of the orphans and widows, supported Jewish studyand even helped to provide for indigent girls’ dowries. In fact, if a person felt that she wasnot receiving adequate support from the community, she was entitled tointerrupt prayer services to complain publically!

Today in America we tend to idealize thosebabushka-wearing, poor but righteous communities of yore in our popularculture. Our Ashkenazi Jewishancestors were indigent and oppressed, but they survived because they couldcount on each other. We know thatcommunal living is good for us too. Communities help make us saner, healthier, and more benevolent. Most of us acknowledge the value ofcommunity theoretically, but we havetrouble embracing the reality ofcommunal living, especially when communities seek to constrain our individualchoice by imposing rules or norms on us. Much of the history of Judaism in America is defined by the struggle toreinvent Jewish community for Jews who value their freedom of choice abovetheir commitment to religious authority. The most obvious example is kashrut(keeping kosher). At one time theJewish community demanded that its membership keep kosher. Today relatively few American Jews chooseto do so.

And yet we sometimes find fervent secular pleas for submissionto communal will. Recently StevenWeinreb, an internist from West Hartford, wrote an op-ed in the New YorkTimes entitled, “For the Herd’s Sake, Vaccinate.” He warned that vaccination rates are falling acrossEurope and the United States as many parents worry that vaccines are linked tothe spike in autism. Ofcourse, failing to vaccinate a child makes that child vulnerable to childhooddiseases like whooping cough and measles. Weinreb, who is a recent stem-cell transplant recipient, pointsout that vaccinating also protects patients like him, as well as newborns. They have weakened immune systems,which both prevent them from getting vaccinated themselves and also make themparticularly vulnerable to contagious diseases. He writes, “My newborn buddies and I do have someprotection, however: the rest of you.” If most of the population is vaccinated for a particular disease, therest of the population is protected by “herd immunity.” He concludes his op-ed by callingvaccination a communal responsibility: “The truth is, we should not getvaccinated for ourselves alone; we should do it for one another. Having cancer has taught me the valueof living in a community. We assistthe infirm, pay our taxes and donate to charity, and getting vaccinated … isjust another important societal responsibility. After all, we’re in the same herd.”

Weinreb, writing in a secular publication, is askinghis readers to take on a responsibility that is unpleasant (no one likes takingtheir kids to get shots) and somewhat fraught in light of all the (unfounded) hypeabout the autism-vaccination link in the name of protecting the most vulnerablemembers of our community. It is atough sell to us as Americans, but it is a familiar refrain to us as Jews. Rabbi Hillel, one of the most famousrabbis of all time, offered this mandate: “Do not separate yourself from thecommunity! (al tifrosh min hatzibor!)”

Tu Bishvat Celebration

2012-01-17T07:11:00.001-08:00

Tu Bishvat Toy Swap

2012-01-15T08:31:00.000-08:00

Are there too many toys in your house?

The 2^nd Annual Tu Bishvat Toy Swap

by the Young Families Havurah

Toy “Recycling” is good for the earth, good for your kids, and good for your sanity.

January 23^rd-February 3^rd: Place gently used toys in the marked box in the school lobby (see details below).

February 6^th-17^th: Everyone is welcome to take a few toys from the table in the school lobby.

**Please only bring toys that are appropriate for children ages 0-6 and that have been gently used. Toys must be clean and have all their pieces. NO stuffed animals please. Toys that are not taken by the end of the week will be donated.

What is in a Name?

2012-01-01T09:19:00.000-08:00

This month we begin reading the second book of the Torah, known as Exodus or in Hebrew Shemot. Exodus, which literally means “journey out” in Greek, better summarizes the book, which focuses on Israel’s famous departure from Egypt. The title Shemot, which means “names,” is taken from the second word of the book. The Hebrew custom of entitling each book of the Torah by is first or second word, however arbitrary, demonstrates the Jewish approach to Torah in which each word, even each letter, belies a world of significance. What is the import, then, of labeling this book “Names”?

In Jewish shared consciousness, the Exodus from Egypt is viewed as a sort of birth or rebirth of our people. We commemorate the Exodus during the holiday of Passover each spring, the time for rebirth in the natural world, by eating fresh green leaves (parsley) and eggs. And of course as every parent knows, birth brings with it a focus on names.

Before the birth of our son a couple of months ago, my husband and I deliberated endlessly about what name we should give him. Of course on some level, we knew it was somewhat silly. Any of the names we were considering would have been lovely. But on another level, it felt very important. We were determining how people would first encounter our son: a first impression, sometimes before they even met him. We knew we wanted a Hebrew name, and an Israeli friend of ours recommended a wonderful website (for those of you who read Hebrew). There we were able to narrow our search for Hebrew names based on origin (“Biblical,” “from nature”), first letter, even number of syllables. Once we found a name we liked, we did a search on Google and Facebook to see what surfaced.

It turns out we are not alone. According to the recent New York Times article, “What’s in a Name Ask Google,” many expectant parents - 64% - vet names on Google to make sure they are neither too common nor too exotic. They also use search engines to avoid unfortunate associations: “A quick search can help ensure that a child is not saddled with the name of a serial killer, pornography star or sex offender”.

Jewish parents have focused on the importance of their children’s names long before Google. Tanhuma Vayak’hel 1, a rabbinic midrash written between the fifth and seventh centuries, contains this gem: “There are three names by which a person is called. One which his father and mother call him, and one which people call him, and one which he earns for himself. The best of all is the one that he earns for himself." The Israeli poet Zelda alluded to this midrash in her iconic poem “L’khol Ish Yesh Shem” (loosely translated “Each of us has a name”). It begins “Each of us has a name/given by God, and given by our parents.” It then moves through all the other aspects of our lives that help to form our identity: our appearances, our enemies, our loves, our work, even our death. As Zelda’s poem makes clear, not every name for our children will be bestowed as lovingly as the ones we select as their eager parents. Laura Wattenberg, author of “The Baby Name Wizard,” a guide for selecting a name, explained in the Times article why parents tend to avoid overly common names: “When you name your baby, it’s a time of dreaming. No one stops and thinks, ‘What if one day my child does something embarrassing and wants to hide from it?’”

The unbridled optimism of expectant parents is, along with a beautiful name, one of the first and best gifts we give our children. We know as we cradle them in our arms that they are capable of infinite beauty and kindness, that they have the potential to save the world, or at least rid it of cancer. Child-rearing, like the Exodus from Egypt, is at its core an act of hope. We trust that our flawed selves, our families, our communities, our fragile ecosystem will be able to sustain and nurture our children. And we pray, as in the midrash, that the names they earn for themselves will make us proud and make them happy.

לכל איש יש שם - Each of us has a name

Each of us has a name Which God had given us And which was gaven by our father and motherEach of us has a name Given to us by our height and by our smile And given by our clothEach of us has a name Given to us by the mountains And given to us by our wallsEach of us has a name Given to us by the signs And given to us by our neighborsEach of us has a name Given to us by our sins And given to us by our longing
Each of us has a name Given to us by our enemies And given to us by our loveEach of us has a name Given to us by our holidays And given given to us by our laborEach of us has a name Given to us by the seasons And given to us by our blindnessEach of us has a name Given to to us by the sea And given by
our death.

Fun Ideas to Help you Celebrate Hanukkah

2011-12-20T03:13:00.000-08:00

Bending Light Experiments

Light travels through the air in straight lines. If it didn't there wouldn't be any shadows.

The only way we can see an object is if rays of light hit the object and it then reaches our eyes.

Bending a Beam in the Dark

Materials you will need:

• Water
• Scissors
• Shoe Box
• Dark Room
• Flat-sided Jar
• Torch/Flashlight

Steps:

Do this experiment in a dark room to achieve much better results.

1. Cut a narrow slit at one end of the shoe box using sharp scissors.
2. Fill the jar with water.
3. Place the flat-sided jar of water in the shoe box. Position the jar at an angle near the slit.
4. Place the flashlight/torch up against the slit so that the beam of light goes straight through to the jar of water.

Light moves slower through water than it moves through air. When the light goes through the water, it slows down and bends. As the light re-enters the air, the beam of light speeds up again and bends back. This is called refraction.

Bending a Pencil

Materials you will need:

• Pencil
• Water
• Clear Glass or Jar

Light can play tricks on your eyes!

This is a very fast and easy experiment.

Steps:

1. Fill the glass or jar half way with water.
2. Place the pencil in the water.
3. Look at the pencil from the top.
4. Look at the pencil from the side.

Straight or bent? What happens when you look at the pencil through the side of the glass? Light play tricks on your eyes. The pencil looks bent. This is because light travels slower through water than through air. As the light enters the glass of water it slows down(changes direction) and as it leaves the glass it speeds up again – therefore making the pencil look as though it is bent!

From http://www.kids-science-experiments.com

This Little Light of MineThis little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

Hide it under a bushel? No!
I'm gonna let it shine
Hide it under a bushel? No!
I'm gonna let it shine
Hide it under a bushel? No!
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

Don't let anyone blow it out,
I'm gonna let it shine
Don't let anyone blow it out,
I'm gonna let it shine
Don't let anyone blow it out,
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

Oh Hanukkah

Hanukkah, oh Hanukkah, come light the menorah
Let's have a party, we'll all dance the hora
Gather round the table, we'll give you a treat
Dreidels to play with and latkes to eat

And while we are playing
The candles are burning low
One for each night, they shed a sweet light
To remind us of days long ago
One for each night, they shed a sweet light
To remind us of days long ago

Sevivon

Sevivon Sov Sov Sov
Chanukah Hu Chag Tov
Chanukah Hu Chag Tov
Sevivon Sov Sov Sov

Chag Simcha hu la'am
Nes Gadol Haya Sham
Nes Gadol Haya Sham
Chag Simcha hu la'am

2011-12-09T06:31:00.001-08:00

Hanukah Party on Christmas Day

10:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. at the JCC

4200 Park Ave, Bridgeport

Go swimming, bounce on the inflatable bounce houses and climbing tower, play sports in the gym

Hanukah story hour and craft at 10:30 a.m. with Rabbi Nicole.

This event is free and open to everyone.

Bagel brunch for $5 per person or $20 per family.

RSVPs are not necessary but very appreciated!

Join Us at the First Annual Social Action Hanukah Party!

2011-12-05T07:56:00.001-08:00

Friday Dec 16, 2011 4:30-6:00 (Family-friendly Shabbat services to immediately follow).
Get to know various charities, choose which one(s) to support and celebrate the joy of Tzedakah (charity).

Following the tzedakah fair portion of the program there will be a potluck dinner, Hanukah games and music. We will provide the latkes, the doughnuts, the challah and the juice. Please bring a fish or dairy dish to share.

In order to best prepare your children for this event, please use this form for B’nai Bucks. (You will also be able to purchase B’nai Bucks at the door on the 16th.) Your child can donate money that he or she 'earns' by helping around the house etc - or agreeing to take the money that might have been spent on a gift or two - toward the charities. Children tend to appreciate Tzedakah when it is their idea, so you might initiate discussions with them about how everyone is not as fortunate as they are and how "unfair" that is - and they will want to do something to help!

To learn more about talking about tzedakah with your children check out this article.

Please note the charities we are inviting are

Hanukah as a Model for Resolving Conflicts

2011-12-05T07:00:00.000-08:00

I sit at my computer surrounded by scraps of silver fabric, snipped to make my son’s Halloween (and probably Purim) costume.He was a knight, to his great delight. We made a helmet, a tunic with a coat of arms (a Jewish star, of course) and sleeves of armor. But I drew the line at the sword – as a rule, I won’t help make or buy toy weapons. He wasn’t surprised and didn’t complain. Besides, he had a ready solution: a long red stick from our Tinkertoy kit filled in as it usually does for his weapon needs. As a peace-loving mother, part of a family that (like many families) has experienced intimately the horrors of war, my truce with my son’s love of all things violent involves compromise. I don’t buy or allow other people to buy toy weapons for him. I don’t help make toy weapons for him. But I believe that I should not over-interfere in his fantasy world, so long as he is not hurting anyone or himself. So Tinkertoys, Lincoln Logs, branches and even fish sticks have been used as guns and swords in my house. Thank God my son is not violent in the real world.

And I have come to understand that his violent fantasy play is his way of exploring justice, bravery and righteousness, important values in our world. I have also come to realize that I can’t stop him anyway.

I share this because Hanukah, perhaps the Jewish holiday with the most violent roots, fast approaches. Most basically, Hanukah celebrates the Maccabees’ military victory over the Syrian Greeks. Furthermore,the Maccabees were religious zealots, at times murdering and forcibly circumcising their religious brethren who sought to assimilate into Greek culture. Hanukah also involved a Jewish civil war between rich, assimilated urban Jews and less affluent, rural Jewish traditionalists. Isaac Mayer Wise, an early leader of American Reform Judaism, suggested in 1865 the elimination of the celebration of Hanukah. While I am glad that Hanukah, a festival of light, has endured to enliven our dreary winters, I agree with Wise that we must be thoughtful about how we celebrate and teach about Hanukah. Wars, even wars as old as 2ndcentury BCE, are sometimes necessary but always sad. And military victory, while certainly preferable to defeat, is not child’s play. I like to use Hanukah as an opportunity to discuss how conflict is best resolved and not as occasion to extol the Maccabees and their extremely violent approach.

Happily, the rabbis also were uncomfortable with the militaristic components of Hanukah, albeit more out of a fear of inflaming interreligious tensions. They preferred to focus on the miracle of the oil instead of military victory. And in their discussions of Hannukah observance, they provide us with a better model of conflict resolution.

The Talmud records many disputes between the schools of Hillel and Shammai on proper religious observance, including a disagreement over whether Jews should light the Hanukah candles in ascending or descending order over the eight nights (Shabbat 21a). The debates between the schools of Hillel and Shammai, are famous for their civility. Members of each school would marry women from families who subscribed to the other school. In Eruvin 13b the Talmud states that both Hillel and Shammai's words were "from the living God," a wonderful phrase we should use more often in our religious disagreements.However, Hillel's opinion usually was upheld, the text states, because his school would teach Shammai's words before their own, a demonstration of their humility.

In our sometimes dark and violent world, may Hanukah help to illuminate a more peaceful approach to conflict resolution for us and for our children. And may my son grow out of his love of swords. Amen.

Watch Origins of Hanukah

Thanksgiving: Roast Turkey with a side of Mandel-brodt

2011-11-02T11:49:00.000-07:00

Oneof my favorite books I have read recently is Rivka’s First Thanksgiving byElsa Okon Rael. You can find it in the children’s section of thebookstore or library (actually our copy was mailed to us courtesy of the PJ Library, a project that gives Jewish books to Jewish children), but it is abook with important adult lessons as well.

Itis a story about a little girl named Rivka who leads her family inacculturating to American society, as do many first generation children. She decides that her family should celebrate Thanksgiving, because they shouldbe grateful for the opportunity to live in America. Her mother andgrandmother and even their esteemed rabbi disagree, deeming Thanksgiving “notfor us.” But Rivka, of course, prevails, through chutzpah anddetermination. She writes in her letter to the rabbi “You may have read athousand books, but you do not seem to understand that immigrants came toAmerica to escape from mean, wicked people who hurt them and theirfamilies. That is why the Pilgrims came and that is why the Jewish peoplecame later.” And at Rivka’s family’s first Thanksgiving meal (roastturkey with a side of mandel-brodt), their rabbi thanks God “for the wisdomchildren give us.” Amen.

Thisbook has old-world charm but clearly new-world values. Rivka, a littlegirl, is able to challenge her rabbi and family, a possibility that exists onlyin a democratic society. She demonstrates to her elders that the dividebetween “us” and “them” here in America is more permeable than they hadassumed.

Whileour families have long grown accustomed to celebrating Thanksgiving and otherAmerican holidays and while in many of our homes Jews and non-Jews livetogether as one family, I would argue that little Rivka still has a lesson forus adults. In many ways, even as we have acculturated as individuals intoAmerican society, we have maintained the distinction between the Jewish and theAmerican parts of our lives. Thanksgiving is an American holiday, so mostof us would not consider the connection with “modeh ani” or otherprayers of thanksgiving that are a regular part of our Jewish worship. Many of us think of Sukkot as a Jewish holiday, wholly separate from other fallcelebrations we attend at this time. Of course, our children, before theyhave learned from us to do differently, see no such distinctions. Theypeer easily over the divide we have constructed between Jewish and American andsee only what is fun and meaningful to them, seamlessly integrating theirJewish and American selves into a holistic identity.

Ilove to watch my daughter wear her pink kippah with the glittery clips to herJewish day school each day. She doesn’t think twice about it – her motherwears a kippah to synagogue, as does Rabbi Rachel and many other women in ourcongregation. But she even pushed me beyond my comfort zone when she happilyinsisted that she wanted to keep the kippah on afterschool during our trip toStop N Shop. A kippah on a girl in a non-religious setting seemed to meto be a potentially inflammatory statement, and I wanted to protect her (andhonestly me) from insensitive remarks by more traditional Jews and curiousnon-Jews. “But I don’t want you to lose it,” I protested weakly. Noting that it was clipped to her head, she kept the kippah. I wassurprised to see that not only did we not receive one insensitive remark, but aman approached us, spoke to us in Hebrew (in Stratford!) and insisted uponreturning our cart for us from the parking lot.

AsRivka’s wise rabbi said, thank God “for the wisdom children give us.”

Fun Ideas to Help You Celebrate Sukkot

2011-10-12T10:45:00.000-07:00

ForKids

Books

All books can be found in the our library and public libraries

TheHouse on the Roof by David Adler. (Best for ages 4+)

This classic is a story of religious tolerance based ona real court case.

EngineerAri and the Sukkah Express by Deborah Bodin Cohen.

Loosely based on the arrival of a railroad to Israel in1892, Engineer Ari has an adventure taking his sukkah on the train.

Bubbe Isabella and the Sukkot Case by KellyTerwilliger.

Bubbe Isabella builds and decorates a beautiful sukkahand welcomes different animals to come celebrate with her. This book alsomakes a connection between Sukkot and Simchat Torah, the holiday thatimmediately follows.

Activity Ideas

Build a sukkah! Throw a party! Camp out inthe sukkah!

Build a play sukkah from a cardboard box, and let thekids eat a snack in it.

Build an edible sukkah: Find ideas here

Use Sukkot as an opportunity to discuss the changingweather and our appreciation for the bounty of fruits, vegetables and beauty ofthe season.

Watch Shalom Sesame, Monsters in the Sukkah.

Resourcesfor Grown-ups

Introduction to the history and customs for Sukkot, including a great video.

Check out Roger Bennett and Joshua Foer’s amazing project, Sukkah City, in which they organized an international design competition for sukkot in Union Square in New York in 2010.

A great article about a family who loves their sukkah in the now defunct parenting magazine Wondertime (you can still find the article on-line). In it Beth Kantor describes a sukkah to her largely non-Jewish audience as “think Gilligan’s hut meets tiki bar.”

Hag Shameah